Lower than low

My stepsons (ages 15 and 12) recently revealed that their biological mom has been stealing money from them. They've learned the hard way to keep their wallets on them at all times, so now she asks them to loan her money and does not take no for an answer.

Does she pay them back?

You guessed it.

The boys live with their mom. Our visitation schedule includes a large chunk of their summer break. We still have to pay child support during these extended visits, which makes no sense because she is not the one having to feed, clothe, shelter, and entertain these kids during the summer. Now, we wouldn't mind so much if she saved the extra support money or spent it on something special for the kids. Heck, even stocking up on extra groceries would be practical.

Did she do any of the above?

You guessed it again.

The boys spent this past weekend with her and then came back to us (we have them for two more weeks). While they were there, the younger gave his mom five dollars...big mistake...and asked her to buy him a soda and bring him back the change. She came back from the convenience store a short time later with a pack of cigarettes, no change, and no soda.

She didn't even try to make excuses. It's like she assumes, at this point, that she has the right to rob her own teenage children simply because she's their mother. This is a woman whose budgeting skills are so abysmal that she barely keeps her utilities paid even though the kids are supported by their father and she lives in a Habitat for Humanity home with almost no rent. On top of the child support payments (which we know from experience are more than enough to keep the boys clothed and cared for), we keep having to buy them new shoes because theirs wear out and she claims not to have the money to replace them. And yet the woman has never run out of cigarettes in her life...or her favorite snack foods, or whatever brand new DVD she sets her eye on.

It just floors me. Some people seem to find this amusing (the part about her "borrowing" money from her kids to buy cigs and then stiffing them on the repayment). Call me overly sensitive or humorless, but in my opinion, taking a child's hard-earned money and buying something for yourself instead of what he asked for is lower than low. So is stealing right out of your child's wallet. My parents occasionally had to borrow money from me when I was a kid. I'm sure this is true of a lot of children. But mine always paid me back within the week. I may have been a child lending out my allowance money, but they still had enough humanity and respect for me not to steal. They also had budgeting skills and basic scruples, but still. I think I've made my point.

As for the boys, they now have to choose between relinquishing their money to this lazy tyrant of a mother or dealing with the penalty (grounding, nagging, and who knows what else) that comes with refusing to give her another cent. That's not how parents are supposed to treat their children. Come to think of it, it's not even acceptable to treat adult relatives and friends this way. And all this to ensure a neverending supply of cigarettes. I understand that smoking is addictive, but this is crossing the line all the same.