Due to the death of my husband this past weekend, I am putting this blog on hiatus. I may get back to it someday (could be soon, could be never...hard to say), but right now I just don't have it in me to update. I'm sure you guys understand.
I may start a separate blog on this account in order to record my thoughts, feelings, and all the things I would say to him if he were here. If I have the option, I will likely turn on the privacy settings. If people really want to read that blog, it's okay, but I will have to discourage comments since the posts are not addressed to the public.
In the meantime, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
My thanks and best wishes.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Last but not least (a post-post script)
After this post, I'm going to back off from including anything religious in my blog for a while.
I'm also making this a post as opposed to a comment mainly because blogger (unless I missed this feature) does not notify users of new comments and/or comments to comments. Which is fine...it motivates me to keep posting when I have poster's block, and it's much less annoying than all the notifications that clutter other sites like Myspace. There are also no private messages here, which necessitates either public posts or giving out email addresses in public posts.
Anyway, I'm still debating everything I was brooding over in the previous posts. Here are my (mostly non-) conclusions so far.
I'm not going to block/delete anybody. For one, I'd look like a pouty immature jerk for deleting friends that I added (and added on the basis of their coolness, to boot). Ditto for deleting people just for disagreeing with me (there's undoubtedly a technical name for such behavior, but my flu-addled brain is not letting me remember it right now).
I'm also not sure whether I'm even going to touch religion in future posts. I probably will, and it most likely will not be in a Christian/organized religion-friendly way. It won't be in a Christian/religion-bashing way, unless agnosticism and criticism count as bashing. Thus, I will leave it up to my Christian/religious readers whether or not they would like to continue reading my heathen posts.
If so, I must establish a few rules and things to keep in mind for responding to said posts:
-- No more trying to help me. Seriously. I don't want that kind of "help." My suggestion: save it for others who reach out to you specifically for guidance. It's a waste of time, energy, and good intention to try to help people who don't want that sort of help. Both sides will end up frustrated and nothing will be accomplished. If your conscience mandates that you try to convert me and you can't help trying to do so, move along to a more promising opportunity. In my experience, people learn more by making their own mistakes. And if they don't learn from those, they're not going to learn from what other people tell them.
-- Saying things like "I know that God..." and "the fact is..." are not going to have any effect on me other than to cause me to roll my eyes, smile, and shake my head. Technically, none of this stuff is knowable or provable. That's why it's called faith. Frankly, I find such proclamations arrogant, ignorant, and presumptuous. However, if you substitute "I believe" for "I know" and"it's possible/likely that" for "the fact is," I may be willing to entertain a conversation because I know that I'm talking to someone with a realistic and open-minded attitude (the kind of attitude that I strive to maintain). Anyone who wishes to put blind trust in books and authority figures is more than welcome to do so, but I will not join you in it. So again, deal with my agnosticism or move along.
-- The above two points are pretty wide-ranging and you can probably deduce from them what is and is not going to fly here in my blog. I've probably made points that I don't have to make, since my readers are intelligent and thoughtful, but I'm the kind of person who wants to make sure I've covered all I need to cover even if it means restating the obvious.
With all that being said, I'll leave it up to my individual readers as to whether they want to stick around and keep reading. If it would help, I can put a "warning: controversial religious post!" disclaimer at the beginnings of such entries so that the non-like minded can skip to something else (assuming I update on a regular basis, lol).
It does bug me slightly to know that I have readers who think I'm "doomed" or whatever, even if I discourage them from saying so, but I'm a grownup and I have to accept it. I realize that, as an agnostic, I'm in the minority of people. I can't expect everybody I encounter to embrace that, and really do I applaud people of different views for taking an interest and taking the time to read my entries. I think I can manage to agree to disagree as long as others can do the same.
One last point, since I'm sure I've long since passed the point of redundancy. I highly encourage anyone with concerns, questions, or curiosity regarding the occult (a word with a much broader and less diabolical definition that many people realize) to check out this forum: Occult Corpus.
Moreover, I encourage you to join the forum and participate in the discussions. State concerns. Ask questions. Read and learn about what other people believe and practice, and why they do so. There are many Christian members, and there is a section devoted specifically to Christianity and other monotheistic faiths. In many ways, it's as much a comparative religion forum as it is an occult-related site. Yes, there are also sections for polytheism, magick, and darker paths, but only because the forum is all-inclusive. There is no one path/practice being advocated above others. It's an excellent meeting place for people from all belief systems. I'm not saying this to try to recruit forum members or push the idea too far. It's just that any questions you could have for me would be better answered by reading (and participating in) discussions on the forum.
Okay? Good. I feel much better having established my position. Now, I say we get back to our regularly scheduled blogging. :)
I'm also making this a post as opposed to a comment mainly because blogger (unless I missed this feature) does not notify users of new comments and/or comments to comments. Which is fine...it motivates me to keep posting when I have poster's block, and it's much less annoying than all the notifications that clutter other sites like Myspace. There are also no private messages here, which necessitates either public posts or giving out email addresses in public posts.
Anyway, I'm still debating everything I was brooding over in the previous posts. Here are my (mostly non-) conclusions so far.
I'm not going to block/delete anybody. For one, I'd look like a pouty immature jerk for deleting friends that I added (and added on the basis of their coolness, to boot). Ditto for deleting people just for disagreeing with me (there's undoubtedly a technical name for such behavior, but my flu-addled brain is not letting me remember it right now).
I'm also not sure whether I'm even going to touch religion in future posts. I probably will, and it most likely will not be in a Christian/organized religion-friendly way. It won't be in a Christian/religion-bashing way, unless agnosticism and criticism count as bashing. Thus, I will leave it up to my Christian/religious readers whether or not they would like to continue reading my heathen posts.
If so, I must establish a few rules and things to keep in mind for responding to said posts:
-- No more trying to help me. Seriously. I don't want that kind of "help." My suggestion: save it for others who reach out to you specifically for guidance. It's a waste of time, energy, and good intention to try to help people who don't want that sort of help. Both sides will end up frustrated and nothing will be accomplished. If your conscience mandates that you try to convert me and you can't help trying to do so, move along to a more promising opportunity. In my experience, people learn more by making their own mistakes. And if they don't learn from those, they're not going to learn from what other people tell them.
-- Saying things like "I know that God..." and "the fact is..." are not going to have any effect on me other than to cause me to roll my eyes, smile, and shake my head. Technically, none of this stuff is knowable or provable. That's why it's called faith. Frankly, I find such proclamations arrogant, ignorant, and presumptuous. However, if you substitute "I believe" for "I know" and"it's possible/likely that" for "the fact is," I may be willing to entertain a conversation because I know that I'm talking to someone with a realistic and open-minded attitude (the kind of attitude that I strive to maintain). Anyone who wishes to put blind trust in books and authority figures is more than welcome to do so, but I will not join you in it. So again, deal with my agnosticism or move along.
-- The above two points are pretty wide-ranging and you can probably deduce from them what is and is not going to fly here in my blog. I've probably made points that I don't have to make, since my readers are intelligent and thoughtful, but I'm the kind of person who wants to make sure I've covered all I need to cover even if it means restating the obvious.
With all that being said, I'll leave it up to my individual readers as to whether they want to stick around and keep reading. If it would help, I can put a "warning: controversial religious post!" disclaimer at the beginnings of such entries so that the non-like minded can skip to something else (assuming I update on a regular basis, lol).
It does bug me slightly to know that I have readers who think I'm "doomed" or whatever, even if I discourage them from saying so, but I'm a grownup and I have to accept it. I realize that, as an agnostic, I'm in the minority of people. I can't expect everybody I encounter to embrace that, and really do I applaud people of different views for taking an interest and taking the time to read my entries. I think I can manage to agree to disagree as long as others can do the same.
One last point, since I'm sure I've long since passed the point of redundancy. I highly encourage anyone with concerns, questions, or curiosity regarding the occult (a word with a much broader and less diabolical definition that many people realize) to check out this forum: Occult Corpus.
Moreover, I encourage you to join the forum and participate in the discussions. State concerns. Ask questions. Read and learn about what other people believe and practice, and why they do so. There are many Christian members, and there is a section devoted specifically to Christianity and other monotheistic faiths. In many ways, it's as much a comparative religion forum as it is an occult-related site. Yes, there are also sections for polytheism, magick, and darker paths, but only because the forum is all-inclusive. There is no one path/practice being advocated above others. It's an excellent meeting place for people from all belief systems. I'm not saying this to try to recruit forum members or push the idea too far. It's just that any questions you could have for me would be better answered by reading (and participating in) discussions on the forum.
Okay? Good. I feel much better having established my position. Now, I say we get back to our regularly scheduled blogging. :)
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Post Script
Notes to self:
If I preach acceptance, I must practice it.
If I preach respect, I must practice it as well.
That means no bashing of outlooks, no labeling of people, no derogatory or negative remarks, and no attacks or tirades. These actions are disrespectful to others, unbecoming of me, and do not lend credibility to my perspective.
It will not be easy. I often tread a fine line between reticence and confrontation. I must not only find a compromise, but also try to rise above the temptation to either lash out or run away.
I cannot make promises. I have declared my intention to express myself honestly, and sometimes honesty is blunt. I have sought a place away from my daily life and obligations both personal and professional where I can let my true (and occasionally unpleasant) self out. This should be the one place where I do not feel stifled...and yet, if I allow others into this world, I must treat them with the same respect I would demand and expect for myself.
I will strive for constructive expression. I will reread every post with an empathetic eye: how do my words affect the reader, and what do my words say about me? Writing honestly means looking back at posts from different angles. Ideally, it means learning something from oneself as well.
I will do my best at all I have outlined here.
-------------------
An explanation:
The above was written after I had a rather upsetting reaction.
After making all those statements about hope, friendship, acceptance, respect, and understanding, I suddenly felt myself overcome with defensiveness and more than a touch of resentment.
"Leave me alone!" I wanted to scream. "I said I was done with all this! You insist you're right, and I insist I'm right. We can't both be right, and neither of us will concede to the other. So where does that leave us? Nowhere!"
My hands shook. My stomach hurt and I began to feel dizzy. The nerve! People want to CHANGE me. That's always what it comes down to, doesn't it? The intentions don't matter. What matters is the lack of agreement and the lack of conformity. And that incongruity translates to wrongness. I am wrong. I must be corrected...changed...made right again. Dire consequences await me otherwise. I feel besieged. I feel threatened. I want to lash out: "Your right is my wrong, and your wrong is my right. So let it be! Leave me with my right and take yours with you."
And then there was the possible betrayal of myself. I erased several posts. Then I offered a disclaimer for my interests. Did I backtrack? Did I waver? Did I cop out? What matters more to me here...my own position or what people think? Did I do a double disservice by trying to appease both others and myself? Am I mature, eloquent, and confident enough to stand my ground at the risk of alienation? And so on.
I don't know. I don't know if people can have it both ways. I don't know if those of disparate beliefs can coexist comfortably. I've seen it happen, but I don't know if I have it in me.
Maybe I'll surprise myself. The above notes are my encouragement. Let's see how I do.
If I preach acceptance, I must practice it.
If I preach respect, I must practice it as well.
That means no bashing of outlooks, no labeling of people, no derogatory or negative remarks, and no attacks or tirades. These actions are disrespectful to others, unbecoming of me, and do not lend credibility to my perspective.
It will not be easy. I often tread a fine line between reticence and confrontation. I must not only find a compromise, but also try to rise above the temptation to either lash out or run away.
I cannot make promises. I have declared my intention to express myself honestly, and sometimes honesty is blunt. I have sought a place away from my daily life and obligations both personal and professional where I can let my true (and occasionally unpleasant) self out. This should be the one place where I do not feel stifled...and yet, if I allow others into this world, I must treat them with the same respect I would demand and expect for myself.
I will strive for constructive expression. I will reread every post with an empathetic eye: how do my words affect the reader, and what do my words say about me? Writing honestly means looking back at posts from different angles. Ideally, it means learning something from oneself as well.
I will do my best at all I have outlined here.
-------------------
An explanation:
The above was written after I had a rather upsetting reaction.
After making all those statements about hope, friendship, acceptance, respect, and understanding, I suddenly felt myself overcome with defensiveness and more than a touch of resentment.
"Leave me alone!" I wanted to scream. "I said I was done with all this! You insist you're right, and I insist I'm right. We can't both be right, and neither of us will concede to the other. So where does that leave us? Nowhere!"
My hands shook. My stomach hurt and I began to feel dizzy. The nerve! People want to CHANGE me. That's always what it comes down to, doesn't it? The intentions don't matter. What matters is the lack of agreement and the lack of conformity. And that incongruity translates to wrongness. I am wrong. I must be corrected...changed...made right again. Dire consequences await me otherwise. I feel besieged. I feel threatened. I want to lash out: "Your right is my wrong, and your wrong is my right. So let it be! Leave me with my right and take yours with you."
And then there was the possible betrayal of myself. I erased several posts. Then I offered a disclaimer for my interests. Did I backtrack? Did I waver? Did I cop out? What matters more to me here...my own position or what people think? Did I do a double disservice by trying to appease both others and myself? Am I mature, eloquent, and confident enough to stand my ground at the risk of alienation? And so on.
I don't know. I don't know if people can have it both ways. I don't know if those of disparate beliefs can coexist comfortably. I've seen it happen, but I don't know if I have it in me.
Maybe I'll surprise myself. The above notes are my encouragement. Let's see how I do.
To a concerned reader
Note: This began as a reply to a comment and from there grew into something better suited to a post.
........................
To a concerned reader (and those of like mind):
I appreciate your concern and am grateful for both it and your respect toward my spiritual views. But for the moment (and likely for longer than that), I'm limiting any occult interests to reading only. Based on what I've researched since that particular post, I think that simply having the belief system that I do and living by it will suffice for me. It was interesting to find a paradigm that is so congruous to my personal and philosophical views, but I don't see a place for concrete "practice" at this point in my life.
Also, I hope this doesn't chase you away...this is always so hard to explain to devout people...I am agnostic, bordering on atheist. I recently admitted and accepted the belief (or lack thereof) that I have been struggling against for much of my life. It was not easy, but I was tired of trying to force beliefs on myself that never felt "right" in my heart and mind. I have to be honest now, and I have to be who I really am. This is who I am.
I'll understand if you would rather not associate with me any longer, although it would make me sad to lose a friendship to a difference in religious beliefs. I know that it's a challenge for believers and non-believers to get along. And I really do appreciate your offer to discuss Christianity, but I am truly comfortable in my current perspective (I mean my agnosticism, not anything occult-related) and would rather not get into what I cannot see being a productive or comfortable discussion.
What I'm trying to say is that I'm not the least bit interested in being converted/"saved"/whatever you prefer to call it. I don't mean that to sound rude or dismissive. But I have finally embraced what I feel is right for me, and I would rather that those who do not feel likewise not worry themselves with a futile effort on my behalf.
Future posts in this blog will very likely reflect agnostic/skeptical views. Actually, I can promise they will. I post them here whenever I wish to share what's on my mind or need to get something off my chest. Replies intended to contest my beliefs are not welcome (again, that comes out sounding rude when I do not mean for it to be so).
So if anything I post in future offends my Christian readers, I apologize sincerely. But please understand: this blog is my place to be me. I do not mean to hurt or worry anyone with my posts, but I expect my beliefs to be respected even if one cannot agree with them. That often means leaving certain topics and posts alone, which is what I do when I come across spiritual beliefs on other blogs that I cannot agree with. I hope that won't drive anyone off entirely, but if it does, I understand and respect that.
I believe that different views can still coexist in harmony. It may be rare, but it can happen. I have seen great friendships grow and thrive amid radically different perspectives without either individual having to sacrifice their own beliefs. Let's hope that can be true here as well.
Thank you, and best wishes.
........................
To a concerned reader (and those of like mind):
I appreciate your concern and am grateful for both it and your respect toward my spiritual views. But for the moment (and likely for longer than that), I'm limiting any occult interests to reading only. Based on what I've researched since that particular post, I think that simply having the belief system that I do and living by it will suffice for me. It was interesting to find a paradigm that is so congruous to my personal and philosophical views, but I don't see a place for concrete "practice" at this point in my life.
Also, I hope this doesn't chase you away...this is always so hard to explain to devout people...I am agnostic, bordering on atheist. I recently admitted and accepted the belief (or lack thereof) that I have been struggling against for much of my life. It was not easy, but I was tired of trying to force beliefs on myself that never felt "right" in my heart and mind. I have to be honest now, and I have to be who I really am. This is who I am.
I'll understand if you would rather not associate with me any longer, although it would make me sad to lose a friendship to a difference in religious beliefs. I know that it's a challenge for believers and non-believers to get along. And I really do appreciate your offer to discuss Christianity, but I am truly comfortable in my current perspective (I mean my agnosticism, not anything occult-related) and would rather not get into what I cannot see being a productive or comfortable discussion.
What I'm trying to say is that I'm not the least bit interested in being converted/"saved"/whatever you prefer to call it. I don't mean that to sound rude or dismissive. But I have finally embraced what I feel is right for me, and I would rather that those who do not feel likewise not worry themselves with a futile effort on my behalf.
Future posts in this blog will very likely reflect agnostic/skeptical views. Actually, I can promise they will. I post them here whenever I wish to share what's on my mind or need to get something off my chest. Replies intended to contest my beliefs are not welcome (again, that comes out sounding rude when I do not mean for it to be so).
So if anything I post in future offends my Christian readers, I apologize sincerely. But please understand: this blog is my place to be me. I do not mean to hurt or worry anyone with my posts, but I expect my beliefs to be respected even if one cannot agree with them. That often means leaving certain topics and posts alone, which is what I do when I come across spiritual beliefs on other blogs that I cannot agree with. I hope that won't drive anyone off entirely, but if it does, I understand and respect that.
I believe that different views can still coexist in harmony. It may be rare, but it can happen. I have seen great friendships grow and thrive amid radically different perspectives without either individual having to sacrifice their own beliefs. Let's hope that can be true here as well.
Thank you, and best wishes.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Of gas guzzlers and hypochondria
I really, reeeeeeaaallly hope I'm not coming down with something.
I was suddenly overcome with a bout of sinus allergies last night and took two benadryl. They seemed to do the trick, as the sneezy itchy cloggy crap cleared up pretty quickly. My sinuses left me alone while I slept, but I slept poorly and kept waking up feeling overheated even though the AC vent (which usually leaves me huddling under the comforter even in summer) was blowing straight down on us. I had those freaky "did the alarm go off...did I miss it...where am I..." half awake dreams that I get when it's too warm. Sneezed a bit when I woke up, took another benadryl, felt fine (albeit sleepy) for the rest of the day. Then we picked up the boys and S, the hypochondriac of the pair, starts hypothesizing that he has swine flu because he's been coughing since this morning. Which reminds me that my chest has been feeling slightly congested these last few days, and I've been coughing off and on too, and now add to that the sneezing...yeah, you see where I'm going with this.
I'm pretty good at holding my hypochondria in check. But when exposed to another hypochondriac, forget it. Now I'm feeling like I may be coming down with a cold, allergy attack, or maybe the very earliest stages of swine flu (because the symptoms vary by individual!), even though part of me knows I don't feel any worse than I have in the last couple of days. Nonetheless, as I type, I'm also swallowing and noticing a hint of scratchiness...I'm feeling my lymph nodes and wondering if they've swelled a bit...I even got chills when I opened the cabinet a minute ago (granted, I had the fridge open prior to that...but hey, it's still out of the ordinary).
Ugh! I really wasn't too worried about swine flu until Hypochondriac Boy started going on about it this evening. And he and his brother just went back to school. Schools are like petri dishes. All kinds of contagious shit incubates in schools. The last thing any of us need now (or, to be honest, ever) is the swine flu. Especially with my history of lung problems.
Must think healthy. Must think positive. Must chew another yummy orange Vitamin C tablet.
-------------
We also had to postpone our South Carolina trip this weekend for what is possibly THE stupidest and most unforeseen reason. Our rental car--a 2010 Nissan Maxima--turned out to get less than 20 mpg at highway speeds. So when you factor in the trip to and from SC plus two trips to and from south Florida, we're talking several hundred dollars in gas on top of the rental fee!
Pretty pitiful when a BRAND NEW CAR gets worse gas mileage than the almost thirty year old (and out of tune) full-size van that we would have been driving otherwise. It's quite hilarious. But postponing our trip sucks enough to negate the humor I would otherwise have reveled in.
I was suddenly overcome with a bout of sinus allergies last night and took two benadryl. They seemed to do the trick, as the sneezy itchy cloggy crap cleared up pretty quickly. My sinuses left me alone while I slept, but I slept poorly and kept waking up feeling overheated even though the AC vent (which usually leaves me huddling under the comforter even in summer) was blowing straight down on us. I had those freaky "did the alarm go off...did I miss it...where am I..." half awake dreams that I get when it's too warm. Sneezed a bit when I woke up, took another benadryl, felt fine (albeit sleepy) for the rest of the day. Then we picked up the boys and S, the hypochondriac of the pair, starts hypothesizing that he has swine flu because he's been coughing since this morning. Which reminds me that my chest has been feeling slightly congested these last few days, and I've been coughing off and on too, and now add to that the sneezing...yeah, you see where I'm going with this.
I'm pretty good at holding my hypochondria in check. But when exposed to another hypochondriac, forget it. Now I'm feeling like I may be coming down with a cold, allergy attack, or maybe the very earliest stages of swine flu (because the symptoms vary by individual!), even though part of me knows I don't feel any worse than I have in the last couple of days. Nonetheless, as I type, I'm also swallowing and noticing a hint of scratchiness...I'm feeling my lymph nodes and wondering if they've swelled a bit...I even got chills when I opened the cabinet a minute ago (granted, I had the fridge open prior to that...but hey, it's still out of the ordinary).
Ugh! I really wasn't too worried about swine flu until Hypochondriac Boy started going on about it this evening. And he and his brother just went back to school. Schools are like petri dishes. All kinds of contagious shit incubates in schools. The last thing any of us need now (or, to be honest, ever) is the swine flu. Especially with my history of lung problems.
Must think healthy. Must think positive. Must chew another yummy orange Vitamin C tablet.
-------------
We also had to postpone our South Carolina trip this weekend for what is possibly THE stupidest and most unforeseen reason. Our rental car--a 2010 Nissan Maxima--turned out to get less than 20 mpg at highway speeds. So when you factor in the trip to and from SC plus two trips to and from south Florida, we're talking several hundred dollars in gas on top of the rental fee!
Pretty pitiful when a BRAND NEW CAR gets worse gas mileage than the almost thirty year old (and out of tune) full-size van that we would have been driving otherwise. It's quite hilarious. But postponing our trip sucks enough to negate the humor I would otherwise have reveled in.
Friday, September 4, 2009
I'll take "Hypocrisy" for $100, Alex!
I was just accused of rigid thinking and obsessive single-mindedness by somebody who refuses to look beyond her own ludicrous notions of how the universe "works."
What was it that I said to provoke her? Well, I think it was something like "how does your explanation account for _____?" And "don't all the instances of _______ seem to suggest otherwise?" Oh yeah, and "doesn't it seem more likely that _______, or even that _______?"
You know, all kinds of rigid and single-minded questions like those. Man!
And because I had the nerve to present examples that did not fit into this person's theory and then (OMG!) suggested that there may be a more plausible explanation than the one she offered, I was accused of having only one explanation for everything and sticking to it like glue...
... hahahahahahaha!!!!!
Okay, you probably had to be there.
But still, hypocrisy is pretty hilarious once you get past the initial offense and sheer WTF-ery of it.
What was it that I said to provoke her? Well, I think it was something like "how does your explanation account for _____?" And "don't all the instances of _______ seem to suggest otherwise?" Oh yeah, and "doesn't it seem more likely that _______, or even that _______?"
You know, all kinds of rigid and single-minded questions like those. Man!
And because I had the nerve to present examples that did not fit into this person's theory and then (OMG!) suggested that there may be a more plausible explanation than the one she offered, I was accused of having only one explanation for everything and sticking to it like glue...
... hahahahahahaha!!!!!
Okay, you probably had to be there.
But still, hypocrisy is pretty hilarious once you get past the initial offense and sheer WTF-ery of it.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Forum reject
"I would never join a club that would have me as a member."
--Groucho Marx
I'm not sure how true that is in my case. But yesterday, I joined a club that has since refused to have me as a member...and it was a club (more specifically, an online forum) that I really wanted to join.
I agreed to the terms, read all the rules, and otherwise did as I was told. This was a forum that only allowed me to view a handful of threads before telling me that I would have to join if I wanted to read any more. So I joined. Then I kept getting messages at the top of the page encouraging me not just to read, but to post and introduction and participate in discussions. So I posted an intro thread and a new thread in one of the sub-forums. I participated, just like they suggested. I even filled out my profile and added a signature quote and an avatar. I was good to go.
Then I pulled up the site in today and they wouldn't let me back in. I was banished. Blacklisted. Booted out. BANNED. The big B.
And not only was I banned, I was banned without a reason. Literally, "reason not specified." The same message told me that the ban would be lifted on 8/18/09 at 10:00 am. I tried to log in at 5:00 pm and I was still banned. I couldn't even get in to log myself out!
I was using Firefox, so I opened up Internet Explorer and went to the forum. Since I was not logged in through IE, I managed to open the page and sneak a look at my profile. Both of my posts had been removed. The only person to visit my profile was a moderator, so I'm assuming she was the one who banned me.
I sent the second of two messages to the webmaster (the first I was able to send from the banned screen). I doubt that'll do much good since I can't log in to view my private messages, and they'd therefore have to send any replies directly to my email address. Not to mention that, since the Forum Police deleted my posts, they'll probably not even remember why they banned me even if they do choose to reply.
Seriously, what the hell?
I wouldn't be upset if this were not a forum that I really wanted to join. I am very interested in researching this particular subject and this forum looked like the most comprehensive community for the topic. I don't want to have to join a smaller forum with less knowledgeable members just because a better site refused to have me.
I don't think I even have to go into how inconsiderate and unprofessional it is to ban someone with no warning or explanation. If I do something wrong, tell me so that I don't make the same mistake again. That's just common sense--not to mention common courtesy. I'm a moderator at another forum and I would NEVER treat a member this way, and that includes members who are blatant troublemakers.
At this point, I'm not sure I even want to bother with that forum. Why should I even give them another thought, you might ask. Well, the thing is, I'm stubborn. I always stand up for myself even when it doesn't seem worth the effort, because I believe in respect and will demand it even when I have little else to gain.
That's just the way I am. And if this forum still won't have me as a member, it's their loss.
--Groucho Marx
I'm not sure how true that is in my case. But yesterday, I joined a club that has since refused to have me as a member...and it was a club (more specifically, an online forum) that I really wanted to join.
I agreed to the terms, read all the rules, and otherwise did as I was told. This was a forum that only allowed me to view a handful of threads before telling me that I would have to join if I wanted to read any more. So I joined. Then I kept getting messages at the top of the page encouraging me not just to read, but to post and introduction and participate in discussions. So I posted an intro thread and a new thread in one of the sub-forums. I participated, just like they suggested. I even filled out my profile and added a signature quote and an avatar. I was good to go.
Then I pulled up the site in today and they wouldn't let me back in. I was banished. Blacklisted. Booted out. BANNED. The big B.
And not only was I banned, I was banned without a reason. Literally, "reason not specified." The same message told me that the ban would be lifted on 8/18/09 at 10:00 am. I tried to log in at 5:00 pm and I was still banned. I couldn't even get in to log myself out!
I was using Firefox, so I opened up Internet Explorer and went to the forum. Since I was not logged in through IE, I managed to open the page and sneak a look at my profile. Both of my posts had been removed. The only person to visit my profile was a moderator, so I'm assuming she was the one who banned me.
I sent the second of two messages to the webmaster (the first I was able to send from the banned screen). I doubt that'll do much good since I can't log in to view my private messages, and they'd therefore have to send any replies directly to my email address. Not to mention that, since the Forum Police deleted my posts, they'll probably not even remember why they banned me even if they do choose to reply.
Seriously, what the hell?
I wouldn't be upset if this were not a forum that I really wanted to join. I am very interested in researching this particular subject and this forum looked like the most comprehensive community for the topic. I don't want to have to join a smaller forum with less knowledgeable members just because a better site refused to have me.
I don't think I even have to go into how inconsiderate and unprofessional it is to ban someone with no warning or explanation. If I do something wrong, tell me so that I don't make the same mistake again. That's just common sense--not to mention common courtesy. I'm a moderator at another forum and I would NEVER treat a member this way, and that includes members who are blatant troublemakers.
At this point, I'm not sure I even want to bother with that forum. Why should I even give them another thought, you might ask. Well, the thing is, I'm stubborn. I always stand up for myself even when it doesn't seem worth the effort, because I believe in respect and will demand it even when I have little else to gain.
That's just the way I am. And if this forum still won't have me as a member, it's their loss.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
.bmp)